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By: Maria Z.
Date: December 4, 2024
It seems as though a lot of my life has revolved around much waiting - and wondering if there is an end to this wait.
As a single young professional female, I have been currently “waiting” to meet my future spouse and enter my vocation of marriage. When people mention the time of waiting
during Advent, I can’t help but feel frustrated and irritated.
But why do I feel this way? Because Advent should be a time of joy and a beautiful anticipation of our Lord.
Approximately 2 years ago I was engaged to a man I loved and cared for very much. Similar to many women desiring marriage, it was something I had longed and waited for. The wait was over, I had finally found the man that I would marry, have children and build a life with. Unfortunately, the Lord had different plans for the both of us and we ended the engagement 6 months before our scheduled wedding date. It was a very difficult conversation that I never imagined myself being confronted with at that point in our relationship. Many of our friends and family were preparing to attend the wedding and deposits were already placed. This all changed within a week. The tears of sadness, frustration, anger and hurt began…not to mention embarrassment as people continued to ask me about wedding arrangements and where I was at in the planning.
In short, the following first 6 months were not an easy time for me. However, I cannot stress how loving the Lord was to me during this time. He was a true Father comforting his daughter. His daughter who felt broken, lonely and confused at the way things had unfolded. Sisters, I want to say I was so tempted to blame God in allowing this to happen… for this to come so far only for the engagement to come to an end. I received so much grace during this time that as soon as the enemy placed thoughts of blaming the Lord in my head, I did not try to entertain them. Our Lord shows the extent of His love by giving us free will and not forcing us to do anything. He freely accepts all that we do whether it is His will or not. I have had to really contemplate the depth of God’s love for me and as a result, it changed my heart.
Regardless of my state of life, the Lord does not increase or decrease His love for me and I will continually be called to build my relationship with Him as His daughter. How does one do this? When you are fond of something and take pleasure in a person or object, you start saying good things about them, spending more time doing an activity you love with them, or simply desiring to sit in their presence because you admire them. Once the Lord made known to me His presence, he was calling me to a deeper, intimate relationship with Him. The Lord is always calling us but our ears and bodies may not be inclined to listen or react. However, the Lord knows who we are and every unique detail about us and he delights in us so much that he patiently waits and waits for our minds and hearts to be moved by His immense love for us.
Here I am saying that I am tired of waiting for God to move in my life when in fact he has been moving all along and HE was the one waiting for me.
So, what are we called to do during this “wait?” Whether it is waiting for a new job opportunity, waiting to be blessed with a baby, waiting for your spouse to change His ways, waiting to find friends who understand you, waiting to be cured by a physical illness…. we are all waiting for something! The answer is simple but also challenging: we are called to transform this wait into praise and worship of our King. I give gratitude that I had support from friends, family and my spiritual director to realize the extent of God’s goodness.
The first thing that needed to change was my attitude and posture towards God. I was really desiring and yearning to praise God for his goodness in my life. I am convicted that prayer should begin and end with praise of our Creator. The Bible itself mentions praise and worship thousands of times and the Psalms are filled with proclamations of praise. If scripture (to which we as Christians abide by) is calling us to praise God, then maybe we should obey this call and live it out in our daily life.
I want to share some reflections and scripture verses pulled out from a book that I have been delving into and have been blessed by. It is called “Praying from the Depths of the Psalms” by Fr. John Henry Hanson, O. Praem. The psalms are rich in the human expression of suffering and praise. King David is a prime example of someone who cried out to the Lord in his agony and in times of darkness. He was also given the grace to praise the Lord, as He did deliver him from evil and gave David the strength he needed to endure his trials. King David was completely vulnerable and free with the Lord, a beautiful intimacy that I desired for myself and wanted to imitate.
“I will bless the Lord at all times, his praise shall continuously be on my lips”(Psalm 34:1). Will we bless the Lord at all times? Will praise always be on our lips? We read verses like this and proclaim it several times but when placed in undesirable circumstances, are we still praising God? It is no surprise when times are good and prosperous that we are giving praise, but how about when goodness is hidden from us? When things go wrong, are we still blessing God?" (Fr. John Henry Hanson, O. Praem)
“Praise of God is not all about what we know or understand, much less about products that render life more comfortable. Praise is all about appreciating a goodness that we do not understand, because it is infinite and mysterious.” (Fr. John Henry Hanson, O. Praem) This meant that I must surrender to God’s grace and allow Him to touch my soul and purify me.
“Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). My daily prayer is to do the will of God and I know for a fact that the Lord wants an authentic relationship with me. He wants me to be vulnerable with Him but he also wants me to know his goodness never fails regardless of the time of my life. This time is valuable to give the opportunity to the Lord to be close to me and speak to me. “Praise brings healing to the soul in a unique way, healing any resentment or bitterness that may accumulate over time” (Fr. John Henry Hanson, O. Praem). Healing then ultimately brings communion with our Lord.
I want to conclude with encouragement regardless of where you are at with your relationship with God. You may perceive God has neglected or forgotten about you. The image attached to this blog depicts our Lord as a tender, gentle, understanding man with a beautiful bouquet hidden behind his back waiting to gift the little girl in front of him at just the right time. This is to remind you that he hasn’t forgotten about you and is preparing something bigger and beautiful that is currently hidden from you for a purpose but will one day be revealed.
The Lord is at work- let us praise His name forever and ever. Let us declare His merciful love in the morning and his faithfulness by night. (Psalm 145:2).
Reference
John Henry Hanson. (2010). Praying from the depths of the psalms. Scepter Publishers.
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